女儿现在终于不爱粘着我了，不过还是喜欢半路给我打视频，没接她还会指责我怎么不接她电话！哈哈~ 像个小女友一样的~
小可爱~
一碗热干面的满足感~
到处生机盎然~
和小孩子太难讲原则，万一真的非要讲原则，小孩子就会开启她的“PUA模式”，“妈妈不爱我了”，如果内核不稳，就会怀疑自己，这么严厉的对待一个小孩子，难道真的不爱孩子呢？然后，就会屁颠屁颠的给她当牛做马，以便弥补对她的爱，以及表达自己的歉意。这样没有原则的事情，不是说天天都能发生，毕竟我也有“一根筋”的时候，如果我真的非常强硬或者表现出了非常生气，这个时候女儿就会哭着妥协，当然有时候也并不会哭，但是会有些许的恐惧，答应按照我的原则或者要求做事。
比如说昨晚，接近九点，她突然跟我说饿了，想吃东西，我的第一反应就是给她点外卖吃，但是看了下淘宝外卖，这个点大部分都是烧烤之类的，再要么就是她根本吃不了的辣的东西。如果出去觅食，估计吃饭的地方也都关门了，虽然北京是一线城市，但是和南方城市，那还是没法比的，如 果是在武汉，可能这个点还正是一些饭店忙碌的时候呢。于是我跟女儿说，“现在没啥可吃了，以后晚上六点到晚上八点之间是吃晚饭的时间，如果在这段时间之内没有吃东西，其它时间就不准吃东西了啊！”
女儿听我说完这话，眼泪迅速地夺眶而出，表达对我的不满，也有可能是因为肚子真的饿了，往日晚上给她煮玉米吃，她又吃西瓜又吃玉米，今天因为我要去拿水，没时间再去超市买西瓜或者其他，只煮了玉米，平时她半根玉米都要给我剩一半，昨晚却啃得干干净净，感觉她确实有可能刚刚看手机去了，忘了饿了这么回事，等到要她洗澡睡觉的时候，她突然想起来自己还没吃饱，还饿着这回事。要知道晚上饿着肚子是很难睡着的，于是我便开始在家里找能够给她吃的伙食，翻来翻去，感觉只有热干面最适合她吃了。
在拼多多买的热干面，本来是买蔡林记的，结果给我夹带了其他品牌的，很明显其他品牌的没有蔡林记的好吃。而且酸豆角显然更好吃，送的辣萝卜，我不知道是不是辣萝卜的问题，我吃了两次都会感觉肚子不舒服，所以我直接把辣萝卜扔了，也不向我女儿推荐这个，平时我和她很少吃咸菜。最后还是让我找到了一袋蔡林记的热干面，于是便高兴的跟女儿说，我给你煮热干面吃吧，女儿欣然同意，但我内心想的是，又得刷锅洗碗了，感觉到一阵烦躁，但想想如果早点的时候她表达自己饿了，我不是一样要多煮一次，要多洗一次吗？
似乎找到了心理平衡，感觉自己又接受了洗刷刷这件事。女儿竟然把整碗热干面全部吃光光了，平时她的挑食和吃啥都吃不了太多的形象和现在相比，简直一个天上一个地下，让我不敢相信，她还让我摸摸她鼓鼓的肚子，以表示她现在才是吃饱了。接下来洗澡睡觉期 间，她开心的不停地说好妈妈，妈妈最好了，还是用唱歌的方式表达的，小孩子肯定不知道什么叫做情绪价值，但是这碗面给她的满足感，把我所谓的原则击碎了一地。家是讲爱的地方，而不是讲道理的地方。她也懂那些大道理，懂一些是非对错，当对她无限偏爱和无限包容的时候，她的心和我挨得更近了一些。
It’s really hard to explain principles to young children. If you really insist on talking about principles, the child will activate her "PUA mode" and say, “Mom doesn’t love me anymore.” If the core is not stable, one might start doubting themselves. “Am I really treating my child like this because I don’t love her?” And then, one ends up bending over backward to make it up to her, compensating for the lack of love and expressing an apology. This kind of principle-less situation doesn’t happen every day, though. After all, there are times when I can be very stubborn. If I’m really firm or appear to be very angry, my daughter will cry and give in. Of course, sometimes she doesn’t cry but shows some fear, agreeing to follow my principles or requests.
For example, last night, around 9 o'clock, she suddenly told me she was hungry and wanted to eat something. My first reaction was to order takeout for her, but when I checked Taobao, most of the options were for things like barbecue, or spicy food that she couldn’t eat. If we went out to get food, most restaurants would likely be closed by that time. Even though Beijing is a first-tier city, it still can’t compare to cities in the south. In Wuhan, for instance, it might be the peak time for some restaurants. So I told my daughter, “There’s nothing to eat right now. Dinner time is from 6 PM to 8 PM. If you don’t eat during that time, you can’t eat anything later.”
As soon as my daughter heard this, her tears quickly started to fall, showing her dissatisfaction. It might also be because she was really hungry. Usually, I cook corn for her in the evening, and she eats both watermelon and corn. But last night, because I had to go get water and didn’t have time to go to the supermarket to buy watermelon or anything else, I only boiled corn. Normally, she would leave half a cob, but last night she finished it all. I felt that maybe she had forgotten about being hungry when she was busy looking at her phone, and then, when it was time for her to take a bath and go to bed, she suddenly remembered that she hadn’t eaten enough and was still hungry. We all know that it’s hard to sleep on an empty stomach at night. So I started searching through the house for something to give her to eat, and after some looking, I realized that hot dry noodles would be the best option.
I bought hot dry noodles from Pinduoduo. I had originally ordered the famous “Cai Lin Ji” brand, but they mistakenly sent me a different brand. It was obvious that the other brand wasn’t as good as Cai Lin Ji’s. The pickled green beans were much tastier, and the spicy radish that came with it didn’t sit well with me. I had eaten it twice and felt uncomfortable in my stomach, so I threw the radish away and didn’t offer it to my daughter. We don’t usually eat pickled vegetables. Finally, I found a bag of Cai Lin Ji hot dry noodles, so I happily told my daughter, “I’ll cook you hot dry noodles.” She happily agreed, but inside, I was thinking, “Ugh, more dishes to wash.” I felt a little frustrated, but then I realized, if she had told me she was hungry earlier, I would have had to cook and clean up anyway.
I seemed to find some psychological balance and accepted the washing part. My daughter ended up finishing the entire bowl of hot dry noodles, which shocked me. She usually doesn’t eat much and is a picky eater, but this time, she ate everything. It felt like she was a completely different person. I couldn’t believe it. She even asked me to feel her full belly to show that she was finally satisfied. Later, when it was time for her to take a bath and go to bed, she happily kept saying, “Good mommy, mommy is the best!” and sang it in a cheerful tone. Kids don’t really understand what emotional value is, but the sense of fulfillment from that bowl of noodles shattered my so-called principles. Home is a place for love, not for reasoning. She knows those big principles and right from wrong, but when I give her unlimited love and tolerance, my heart gets closer to hers.
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