When I was seven or maybe eight and could finally tell people what I wanted to be, I often replied with silence because I never wanted to be anything. I didn’t want to do anything, except I always knew I was meant for great things. Now that I’m older, I’m starting to question those great things because I’m still stuck at 20. While others have got life figured out, I’m here writing my thoughts because it’s the only thing I can do at the moment.

I'm Cindy!

I used to be a shy and timid child. Family and relatives often teased and sometimes mocked me because of my quietness, which was a bit ironic because my family were the loudest people you'd get to meet. I may not have been the talkative one always running her mouth, but when I talked, everyone listened like it was a miracle that I did. I wasn't creative nor was I blessed with sports or fun hobbies. But I was observant, a problem solver, and resourceful. I’m the type to make use of what I have and what I could afford. When my mother didn’t want to buy me paper dolls, I made them myself. When we couldn’t buy a dollhouse, I used my father’s small toolbox and turned it into a house built from scraps I could find and imagined it to be something more.

Back in 8th grade, I had this English teacher, Miss Malinao. She was strict and was detailed, with standards high as the clouds in the sky. Yet despite that, she made me fall in love with English writing, and ever since then, all I ever wanted was to get her praise. My love for writing grew and extended to poetry, quotes, dialogues, and just words connecting themselves. But you shouldn’t write just because you want others to praise you for it. You write because you want others to feel the emotions in it and your sincerity. However, I'm not that good at writing. I tend to criticize my own work because I feel that it’s not good enough. I compared mine to others’ until I found myself hating writing.

Perhaps it was because of my silence that I found the words in writing the loudest, like it was all I could ever hear. I'm still a bit timid and a bit shy, but I’ve grown and learned to talk with people more now. That once silent and meek kid now uses her voice to say the words she wishes for others to hear. Life wasn't exactly as I had pictured it to be, but it has turned out to be more beautiful, brighter, and warmer.

The reason I’m joining Hive Community is because I want to share. I want to share the bits and pieces that shapes the life I'm living. I'm now on my tenth month at being 20. Nothing new has happened, and 2 months from now, I’ll be 21. I want my 20 to be remembered for a long time, which is why I decided to join Hive. I want to gift myself the opportunity to let people know me through my writings.

THANK YOU!

Thank you @midnightspen, for introducing me to this amazing community! I’m excited to connect with so many new people and share and exchange the beauty of what Hive has to offer. A heartfelt shoutout to Miss @ayane-chan—thank you for taking a deep and thorough talk into what Hive is all about and sharing its many strengths. From exploring the people behind the platform to hearing your own experiences, I absolutely enjoyed listening to you.

I write because I want to copy the feelings, the places, the people, and paste them into words that make up a whole, a story, a memory. And maybe, in these small stories, I’ll find myself and be remembered too.