I had this group of friends 13 years ago, and we were very close, and even though we were young, we understood the concept of loyalty to our friendship. However, I was probably the only one who understood how harsh reality can be, and had already trained my mind and expectations to align in this way.
One day one of our friends up and left for the US, we weren't just separated by distance and time, we were separated by timezone, different responsibilities and new realities.
I assumed that this person from the group that left would no longer contact us, and I was correct; for 13 years, they rarely responded to any of the messages that were sent to them.
This person is active on social media, but rarely responds to their messages (I did not text, but other friends did), but I knew they would not remember the previous friendship they had with us before they traveled, so I accepted it and moved on.
Others in the group were upset and wondered why one of us would travel to another country and not respond to messages; however, I was not surprised. It is been over 13 years and this person has not responded to our other friends' texts, which is a shame.
13 Years is nothing to a disloyal person
It's just time, nothing else
If you expect less from humanity, you will not be thrilled, entertained, or surprised. People have short memories, despite the fact that we are wired to store intense emotional experiences, whether good or bad.
People are wired to hold onto friendship or closeness values, and this is actually the bond that forms the memories we have, but inasmuch as this is how we should be by default, the extracurricular tendencies of life can make people disloyal, unfaithful, people can learn to silence the voice of their conscience and create a moral justification for why they have done so, and they use this as a coping or defense mechanism whenever they are confronted.
Defense Justification
For example, people use "being busy" to justify disloyalty. While the idea of being busy in life can quickly escalate and cause problems. Humans can actually use the reality of being busy to conceal their wickedness and deliberate disloyalty.
Some days ago, one of my aunts got in trouble for attempting to be kind to another person, and she unintentionally incurred some consequences for doing so.
Now this person could have remembered the years back when she accommodated them and their family into her house, fed and sheltered them as well as acted as a mother to them for close to 20 years.
They could have remembered everything, and some of the flashbacks might have meant something to them, but I guess not. The outcome of events shocked me, but it did not surprise me. If you rely on reciprocal loyalty, you may fail in life.
People, including those we consider to be "loved ones," can crack and fail you. There are no explanations for why people should repay loyalty with disloyalty or ungratefulness; it is simply human nature and the unpredictability of our attitudes and behaviors.
Somehow, I like to call or predict disloyalty, it might make me a negative person on the surface, but I tell you, there's nothing negative about predicting that someone is going to turn out for the worse, especially if the signs are there no matter that.
When you delve deeply into people's attitudinal tendencies, you will never be surprised, but it will feel like a new experience, as you are awed by the complexity of the human mind and what it is capable of.
Life's Merchant
There is a perplexing truth about how people can silence their conscience; I have seen it almost every time. There are people who choose to hold onto their values and words, and there are some whose words do not mean anything to them.
It is safe to say that people can have "merchant" tendencies to be "buyable" in both good and bad times.
Simple experiences of hardship or comfort can rewire people in unexpected ways, and while many people can control these tendencies, others simply give in and allow them to control them. You can never be wrong with basic attitudinal predictions, sometimes it saves you from the disappointment of expectations.
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